Logo (pretty)


You've just found yourself on the home page ofone of the greatest geniuses of all time:an ardent Czech patriot, poet, painter, inventor,physicist, scientist, skier, researcher, composer, playwright,first man on the Moon, founder of the CERN Institute,inventor of the electronic computer, LAN, WAN, TCP,soda, C-language, telephone, wireless telegraph, soap,floppy disk and many other marvelous inventions whichforever changed the course of history -

Jara da Cimrman

New facts about this monumental figure are beingunearthed every moment (even as you read these lines).This page is hence a dynamic object, ever growing andexpanding like Master himself. So let us hope that thisis not your last time here. The last actualization was made on: 17.10.1995.


Translator's comment: The original Cimrman's page is in Czech language.This is only an unskilled translation byJan Kybic(jan.kybic@epfl.ch),to enable the non-Czech-speakers to at least partially appreciate theenormous achievements of Jara da Cimrman. However, to understand Cimrmanfully, the knowledge of Czech is indispensable. For this reason, some ofthe articles from the original page had to be substantially rewritten,simplified or skipped completely.
Any comments about the translation are welcome. If you think there is an error or if you think you have an idea of a better translation of some part, let me know.I would really like to have as few errors as possible on this page.I would also like to make it as enjoyable as the Czech version,if this can ever be achieved.


What should every WWW page contain?

A few introductory words that people customarily skip anyway.
Under Construction
Alias: New and new findings see the light of the world.
Cimrman's favourite links
What do you expect to find at any WWW page? LINKS!
Visitor's book
Your feedback helps usto improve the quality of this page. The satisfaction you express in youre-mails is our greatest reward.(So far only in Czech but nothing prevents youfrom sending one in English.)
Technical notes
... or How this WWW page of our national pride was created.

Cimrman, computers and computer nets

What is Cimmrman's e-mail address ?
The permanent overload of the Internet network is caused mainly byattempts of many scientists from all over the world to discoverCimrman's e-mail. The WHOIS and NETFIND servers search several times a dayin vain the endless databases, only to return after a few days of a hopeless effort the same message ever: Cimrman's e-mail unknown.However, the seemingly endless work is now over. Cimrman's e-mail isdiscovered! (iVosH LUkAcoViC)
The C Programming language
It was clearly proved, by means of an extensive research, thatit was also J. Cimrman, who laid the foundation of C. It is not by chance that in its name "C" stands the initial letter ofMaster's name, while the official authors, Mr. Kernigham and Mr. Ritchie,are mentioned only in parentheses "(K & R)" and sometimes they are not mentioned at all!(Martin Hruby)
Development of local networks (LAN)
A profit making company Novell Netware, that based its businesson the development of software for local networks, can probably hardlyguess, that the beginnings of this technical field were initiatedby no one other than the Czech Giant, Jaroslav Cimrman.(Pavel Machek, Igor Novotny, Pavel Svoboda)
Micr*soft Wind*ws
According to an annual evaluation of the Fortune magazine in 1994,it was Bill G*tes, who was considered the richest man of the U.S.A.And it was only because of his product Micr*soft Wind*ws, that undoubtedly became the most widespread graphical user interface in the world. This popularity suggests an idea that the man in the backgroundwas- who else than Jaroslav Cimrman.(iVosH LUkAcoViC, Michal Hrdlicka)
A brief introduction to Cimrman's work in the area of computer science.Microchips, Liquid Crystals, FTP, Fortran and other related subjects.(Jan Rehacek)
The number of people on the Internet grows unbelievably fast.It will, presumably in a few years, occupy the same position as radioor TV today. Many experts think the first wide area network (WAN)dates back to 1967 when ARPANET was founded in the U.S.A.However, the truth is different.(iVosH LUkAcoViC, Vaclav Trojan, Zdenek Pytela)Translator wanted.

Inventor, scientist and gynecologist Jara Cimrman

Cimrman's Corrective Constants
Mathematics is a field, where Cimrman's work did not receive theappropriate acknowledgement. The history of science witnessed already a few times, how an economically stronger publisher, sadly enough, appropriated the genius's mental work. It was no different in this case.(iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Cimrman's Corrective Operator Pabla
Many geniuses had difficulties with routine mathematical skillsand the great Master was no exception.After his fenomenal discovery of corrective constants, he has not realizedimmediately, that his method is not totally universal. (Jan Kucera)
Every child knows that Jara da Cimrman influenced significantly thedevelopment in almost any technical field.However, little is known about his research concerning a totally differentscience. Let us inform you about the Master's work on psychology.(iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Truth and tales about Cimrman. How it really happened about superconductivityduring the North Pole expedition. Marias from the blackbird's perspective,(Marias- to be pronounced mariaash- is a traditionalCzech card game.)electronic computer and Cimrman's diathermal heater. (Radek Splichal)
Almost everything is possible in Master's work.Marias from the blackbird's perspective and a complex handbook usableanywhere and any time.(Urban Jakub)
Jara da Cimrman - a pioneer of Theoretical Physics
It is a well-known fact that theoretical physics underwent two majorrevolutions at the beginning of this century, which radicallychanged the way we look upon the Universe. Yes, we are talking aboutthe Quantum Theory and Relativity.(Jan Rehacek)
First Man on the Moon - Jara da Cimrman
The first man on the Moon was neither an American nor a Russian astronaut,but the famous Czech inventor, poet, scientist, skier and gynecologist-amateur Jara da Cimrman who reached the Moon's surface on September 9,1914 in his home-made squirrel-propelled submarine "Nemovitost". (Jan Rehacek)
Introduction to Fartology
Fartology occupies a special position among other sciences as it standsbetween philosophy, medicine and sociology. Nevertheless it remainedlong forgotten. After a few years of effort, Cimrman gave up hope of hiswork on it being published. Translator wanted. (iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Cimrman's General Principle of ParityCOMING SOON !
The importance of CGPP is enormous.It proved to be very inspiring and creative in many various technical and artistical fields.(Pavel Lederbuch)

Other points of Cimrman's life

Visit to the Holy Land
Jara da Cimrman was well known for his free verse. One of the brightestjewels of our literature is definitely his love poem. There is nodoubt about the autorship. But is it really a love poem?(Lumir Hanus)
Success of the Institute of Cimrmanology
An event of the 1. January 1993 must be considered a great success of the Institute of Cimrmanology of the Czech Academy of Sciences. Before it could happen, a long lasting work had to be done, many letters had to be written and a few threatening telephone callshad to be made. (iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Jara Cimrman skiing
Already during his stay in Russia Cimraman appeared among theorthodox monks wearing skis. They started to becalled "lyznyje pjerkna" (consult your dictionary about the exact pronounciation).And it was not sport, but physics that led him to skiing.(Petr Mrazek, Putik Jiri)
Cimrman emigrant
Was Cimrman a communist? As far as we know the Master was nevera member of the Communist Party. But what about CPJdC (Communist Partyof Jara da Cimrman)? Did it exist at all?The following dialogue, found after a careful search through old copies of The Wall Street Journal in the American Congress Library,brings some light into the whole affaire and it alsodiscovers other interesting facts.(Ross Hedvicek)
Cimrman not only significantly influenced today's physics buthe popularized it as a pedagogue. Surprising facts were discoveredexamining the standart of didactical tools available.(iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Leonardo da VINCI - Jara da CIMRMAN
By an extensive study of archives in Bristol, England and elsewhere we were able to establish beyond any doubt thatJara da Cimrman is a great-great-great...(n times)...great grandson of the great Leonardo da Vinci. Using modern methods ofcomparison analysis we were able to trace out the full genealogy of Cimrman's family to the beginning of the 16th centurywhen Leonardo begot a son, Pietro Luciano, who became Jara's great-great-great...(n-1 times)...great grandfather.(Jan Rehacek)
Beginning of astronautics NEW !
The great Czech poet Jan Neruda in his Cosmical Songswas the first one to anticipate that the first step into Space will be made in Bohemia. And again, it was no one elsebut Jara Cimrman, who, in front of the restaurant 'The Bell'was the first man to realize the first rocket propelled flight in history. (iVosH LUkAcoViC)
Jerry Zimmerman--Father of the Blues NEW !
During Jerry's American years, he was an travelling salesman of Pilsener.
(This is the first article submitted by a non-Czech Cimrmanologist.Hope there will be more soon.)


Who else deserves the respect for his numerous contribution tothe fast development of the Czech science, education, sport,literature, painting, poetry and Internet more than a patriot, poet, painter, inventor, physicist, scientist, gynecologist- amateur, researcher, composer, playwright and Jaroslav Cimrman (further referred to as JdC). Remember his hard development work in the West Ukraine, where, inspiredby the police protocol that had been written, started the developmentwork on a protocol for data transmission:Transmission Cimraman Protocol, now known under the abbreviation TCP.Let us think a while.Is JdC appreciated enough in our country? Feeling ashamed, we mustadmit, that he is not.Cimrman not only influenced the today's face of Internet with hisRFC (Recommended From Cimrman) documents, but founding theCERN Institute (Cimrman's ElectRonic Network) initiated the fast boomof the popular WWW service.Thanks to him also, the CESNET (Cimrman's Electronic Services basedNot on Electro Telegraph) network, that connects our small country withthe rest of the virtual world, was formed.Let this WWW page be our modest national memorial.

REMARK: Please fill the gap, according to your own knowledge, with at least some of the other Cimrman's activities. [Contens][WWW page of Jara Cimrman]

Under construction

L[Contens][WWW page of Jara Cimrman]

A picture of a tramway carriage

Fig. 4. Cimrman's favourite link was a tramway number 4. Judged by an angle of inclination in the curve, theresearchers of the Institute of Cimrmanology estimated its top speedwas up to 120 kph (75 mph).

Cimrman's favourite links

Wemust point out a WWW page page of a Terroristic Organization *S*L*U*N*I*C*K*O* (for security reasons only in Czech), following sincerely Master's traces. We also should not forget Master's passion for the bier Pilsner Urquel.As there was often a lack of it in the computer lab, Cimrman insteadtried to satisfy his thirst looking at various WWW Quelles,for example Cesnet Resources.

We would also like to draw your attention to the fileBOUQUET.SMELL, which - containing the aroma of flowers -is the first smell file ever. Attention: Use only if you have installedFEELBLASTER and if you have configured your WWW browser correctly.

[Contents][WWW page of Jara Cimrman]

Technical Notes

History of this page

  • 13.6.1995 - The URL was officialy published.
  • 16.6.1995 - Czech Radio informs about this page.
  • 21.6.1995 - CTK New York informs about this page.
  • 28.8.1995 - The amount of text exceeded 100kB. Multifile version introduced.
  • 31.8.1995 - The URL of the English version was published. Remember this date. Starting from that day Internet becomes a valuable information source.
  • 13.9.1995 - Cimrman's page becomes the best Czech WWW page, according to a voting in Liberec.

A few words about the original author


i Am aN eXcEnTrIc aNd I aM pROud oF It...

If you doubt it, visit a party of theINTERNATIONAL TERRORISTIC ORGANIZATION SLUNICKO (The Sun).(for safety reasons only in Czech)aLL tHe oTHer ThiNGS yOu mIght waNt tO kNow aBoUt mEcAN bE foUnd at MyHOME PAGE.iA aM juST in tHe rIGHt age and so I liVe a toTTalLy sUper liFe. AlL aRounD is sUper aND sO I aM sWitcHing tHe cOmputer ofF riGht noW,nOt to sPend mY youTH hErE. AnD yOu (iF yoU aRe nOt iN yOur wOrkpLace aT tHe mOment),dO nOt sIT In fRont oF tHe cOmpuTer tOo muCH, eXcept wHen bRoWsing tHis paGEor wRiting maIls To ME.

The Master of this Page.

Click here if you want to find out more aboutme, Jan Kybic, who currently manages the English version of this pageand who also translated many of the articles.

According to the responseI got after publishing this page (Czech version), mentionedalso by Czech Radio and Czech press agency CTK, it is read by a number ofpeople. That is why, we should, from time to time, add something new.Short, long, slim or fat facts or remarks about the life and work ofour Giant can be sent to my address. I reserve the right for smallcorrections of text. If you do not have enough time to write a completearticle, send me at least the main idea, I could start with.Write to xlukacov@hwlab.felk.cvut.cz. I thank you in advance for anything you send.

And now some criticism:

This page is *S*U*P*E*R*.
This page is simply wonderful.
I liked this page a lot.
I enjoyed reading this page !V!E!R!Y M!U!C!H.

And now a little test of your attention. In the text there is a few grammar, spelling or styling errors, partlyintentional.Write here those you can find.

Remark: A successful delivery of this form depends on your browser.I never get anything from Mosaic, Netscape sometimes works.If you urgently need to say how good this page is or pointout an error, use e-mail instead. Thanks.
This page, testifying our national self consciousness,was created using an articles from the e-mail list JDC-L onLISTSERV@EARN.CVUT.CZ. (In Czech). Actualization occurs roughly every 30days. I thank you for helping me correcting errors this page surely contains.You should have a browser supporting at least HTML 3.0 to displaythis page flawlessly.Tell your friends about this page and put a link to ithttp://cs.felk.cvut.cz/~xkybic/jdce.html wherever you can.The author of "anonymous" articles, that's me.I would like to thank to Mr.Bily, Mr.Pazdziora, Mr.Pytel and many manyothers for help. Greetings,


[Contents][WWW page of Jara Cimrman]

iVos LuKAcovIc. Master of Cimrman's WWW page in Czech.
Jan Kybic. Master of Cimrman's WWW page in English.