ara da Cimrman was very well knownfor his mighty free verse. To this period of his life, when hecomposed the famous poems Coal, Wood and Potatous, was believed tobelong also the poem Holy. Master himself said:"My creativity knows no limits. Last week I worked on a compositionof Coal and Wood. Then, in the chamber, the idea of Potatoes cameto me."Young cimrmanologist who knew Jara composed verses in almost any partof the house, searched his hous thoroughly. He also looked in the cellarand attic. But the manuscript of the famous verses was not found.The discovery of his verses in the National Museum of Writing receivedtherefore a broad attention. A student, who knew almost nothing aboutCimrman, went through the love poetry section, when he accidently foundlove poem attributed to Cimrman.However, the handwriting was apparently not Cimrman's. The notes from an unknown person, who did the recording, read:"I received a phone message from my colleague, who found the manuscriptin Jara's cottage in Liptakov. Unfortunately the time had left its markson it and it was in a very bad condition, partly unreadable.I wrote everything down and filled the missing parts is capital letters."The poem follows:
Holy
There are no further information either about the student or about theauthor of the note.
MY love is raCHel,
A beautiful GIRL ! JdC
When I left to Jerusalem, for a research project, I parted with my homeland in a similar manner as Comenius. I went to see thehouse where Jara da Cimrman was born. And there I learned the abovetold story.
Here in Israel, I study often in a library, in a so-called Armenian district. I have not forgotten Jara but I knew from his biographyhe never went in a Holy Land, so I did not expect to find anythingconcerning him. I was very surprised to find, after four and half years of studyingin this library, the following record in the Visitor's book:
Holy LAND
(I used capitals to show the differences between the original andreconstructed text.) I instantly remembered the copy I saw in Liptakov. Itbecame clear to me I found the original of Jara's text! Some discrepancywere apparently caused by the almost illiterable manuscript the othersperhaps by misheardings through the phone.
I love Israel,
A beautiful LAND !
JdC
No matter how surprising it might be, these fact are a clear proof that theMaster visited the Holy Land. At the same time our literature loses one ofits brightest jewels- a love poem of Jaroslav Cimrman.
Lumir Hanus -LUMIR@MD2.HUJI.AC.IL
Translation: Jan Kybic - XKYBIC@CSLAB.FELK.CVUT.CZ
[Contens][WWW page of Jara Cimrman]
 |  n event of the 1. January1993 must be considered a great success of the Institute of Cimrmanology ofthe Czech Academy of Sciences. Before it could happen, a long lasting workhad to be done, many letters had to be written and a few threateningtelephone calls had to be made. The members of this Institute, assisted by an equally devoted membersof the Institute of Czech Language of the Czech Academy of Sciences,achieved the following remarkable success: On that particular daythe international car plate codeCS(CIMRMAN'S STATE) was abolished.Instead, following the recommendation of the Institute of Cimrmanology,the code CZ(CIMRMANOVA ZEM) (Cimrman's Land) was accepted.Also the main domain name of the Czech Republic was changed fromCS to CZ.By this achievement both the mentioned Institutes and all the otherhelpers (from clerks to pyrotechnics) reserved themselves a primeplace in the records of history. |
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lready during his stay in Russia Cimraman appeared among the orthodox monks wearing skis. They started to be called "lyznyje pjerkna"(consult your dictionary about the exact pronounciation). And it wasnot sport, but physics that led him to skiing. He tried to measure thefriction coefficients for different waxes and other substances. Once atragedy almost happened when one monk wanted to try skiing but asked for itusing rather unfortunate words: "And what about me?" and was not far frombeing waxed onto skis. I am not going into details here as I suppose the Master studied friction evenmore around Jested (a mountain in northern Bohemia) and ourcolleagues from there surely have a better knowledge about the subject.
Petr Mrazek - P.MRAZEK@ZLIN.VUTBR.CZ
Translation: Jan Kybic - KYBIC@EARN.CVUT.CZ
Having some contacts to the 'colleagues from there' and myself living notfar away (about 35 km) and as I spent some time there completing mysecondary education, I felt need to add a few words.
As far as JdC's sport activities around Jested, you might be surprised, butafter the Town Council rather rashly rejected his proposal of a modern cablerailway, he came to Jested only twice, as he presumably shifted hisinterest to other mountain villages, future skiing centers, where hedevoted his time to studying long-distance flights.
And now for his last two trips to Jested:The first one took place at the slope called Plane and you canstill find there a strangely twisted pine, which was said to remind the first World War, but according to the latest research, thispine became the destination of that particular Master's journey.His last trip to Jested is believed to have taken place at the slopecalled Liberecka. The old chronicles note it as a meteorite.The estimated destination varies, either Town Hall, a park ora restaurant Savlovna.You see, there are no reliable information about the place of destination of Cimrman's last visit to Jested.
Putik Jiri - XPUTIK@HWLAB.FELK.CVUT.CZ
Translation: Jan Kybic - KYBIC@EARN.CVUT.CZ
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asCimrman a communist? As far as we know the Master was nevera member of the Communist Party. But what about CPJdC (Communist Partyof Jara da Cimrman)? Did it exist at all?The following dialogue, found after a careful search through old copies of The Wall Street Journal in the American Congress Library,brings some light into the whole affair and it alsodiscovers other interesting facts. The following was found:
Saturday 25th April, 1925 - the very same day when Paul von Hindenburgwon the German elections over the socialist Wilhelm Marx,the previous chancellor.
(UPI) At the press conference in the hotel Walldorf Astoria,the reporters of the press concern Hearst met an americal inventor,enterpriser and genius Jerry Zimmermann. This is the first publicappearance, since Zimmermann, at that time known under the nameJara da Cimrman, mysteriously dissappeared near a village Liptakov,in the Austria-Hungarian Empire in 1914. Zimmermann is neithera relative to Arthur Zimmerman, minister of foreign affairesof the East Prussia, nor to Johann Georg, Ritter von Zimmermann,Swiss doctor and writer.
Zimmermann told journalists, he now works with Thomas Alva Edisonand his new assistent Robert Oppenheimer in Edison's laboratoryin Fort Myers, Florida, on a project on Thermionic emission. Zimmerman has already achieved numerous successes in this field.The most famous was the serie of experiments in 1919.Quoting his own words - "In a laboratory of thatenvious bastard Ernest (Rutheford) I discovered that alpha-raybombardments induced atomic transformation in atmosphericnitrogen, liberating hydrogen nuclei. This reversely establishedthat alpha particles were doubly ionized helium ions by countingthe number given off with a Geiger counter. This led torevolutionary conception of the atom as a miniature universe inwhich the mass is concentrated in the nucleus surrounded byplanetary electrons. I applied this to the quantum theory and theconcept of nuclear physics was born."
When asked if he really founded CPJdC (Communist Party of Jara da Cimrman), as the East European pressrecently claimed, Jerry Zimmermann declared that,"I never had anything to do with any socialist, communist orany other leftist political movement". Zimmermann, known for his ability to master quickly foreign languages(English is already the seventeenth language this linguist speaks),in fact said promptly:"I ain't no fuckin' commie, dig it, yo mediabozos?" - but this original statement was changed to the abovementioned one, more suitable for publishing.
The following question, why has this news appearad in his nativeBohemia, Zimmermann answered:"It's was just a hoax ofcommie newspapers, led by Dzerzinsky's student comrade BohumilSmeral, simple class envy, they would do just about anything toput you down. They're justa fuckin' commies, they keep plottingand plotting... by the way - Karl Marx's grave is just anothercommie plot."
Tabloid newspapermen also detected that one of the many Zimmermann'sfriends is a gifted painter who currently wants to break throughwith cartoon films featuring little creatures. According to Mr. Zimmermann, the painter got so enthusiastic about the story of the Czech fairy-tale hero tomcat Mikes (by Josef Lada)told him by Zimmermannthat he decided to bring it onto the film screen.During the development the cat changed to mouse and the nameMickesh was americanized to Mickey but nevertheless the original Czechsoul remains. The still not very well known painter is calledWalter Disney. Zimmermann, known also as a genial investment counsellor,had just advised him to buy (using the money gained from films) some lands in a place called Lake Buena Vista near Orlando, as he went through on his way to the Fort Myers laboratory.Walter Disney promised to do so.
Fig 1. Mickey Mouse, the legend of cartoons, is loved by millions all over the world for his kindheartedness.No wonder, as Walt Disney let himself be inspired by Lada's tomcat Mickesh.
Finally this modest denius declared:"Self-depreciation is a crime! The greattrouble with many of us is that we do not believe enough inourselves. We do not realize our power. Man was made to hold uphis head and carry himself like a conqueror, not like a slave -as a success, not a failure - to assert his God-givenbirthright."
According to Wall Street Journal - Saturday, 25th April, 1925
Ross Hedvicek - NAAFETEE@HOOKUP.NET
Translation: Jan Kybic -kybic@earn.cvut.cz
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ur honorable colleagueMr. Rehacek, in his study on theoretical physics, presentedCimrman as an excellent pedagogue. Following Comenius's example,he showed the velocity of light is greater than this of soundand on the school yard he successfully demonstrated the Big Bang. A teacher of such qualities would be undoubtedly eagerly admittedin any educational institute. But the Big Bang demonstrationterminated the career of Cimrman teacher. However, Masterdid not abondon didactics. After his inheritance in the U.S.A wasdiscovered, we found Cimrman also created some didactical tools.Morover the following Cimrman's poem proves that Cimrmannot only influenced today's modern physics but he also popularized itto the widest audience by his methods and aids.To particle said electron once:The catholic church however, considered this unique poem, containingan example of a potential well and electron waves, as immoraland banned it. "If this goes on," comments Cimrman in his notes,"we shall shortly teach nothing but religion. I wander why theyhave not forbidden the natural sciences."
"Well, May I walk the lady home?"
"O no," said she.
"Don't please turn my brain,
I am in a potential well.
And I have just a few dicreete states.
My life-course was once set,
by Him, Mr. Schrodinger."
Elektron, a while he stayed,
then waved himself miles away.
Said: "My dates they always spoil,
just like this de Broglie."
In spite of that,the level of education was quite good in our country.According to official documents from that time, "...Czechs havethe smallest percentage of illiterate people (about 3%) from all the nationsof the Austria-Hungarian Empire. Higher education is available atmore than a hundred secondary schools of various types, not counting theproffessional and maiden schools. The incomplete University of Olomouclasted only until 1854 and the voices calling for the second CzechUniversity are so far ignored. On the other hand, the Prague Universityhas up to 8000 students." You can see that education has a long tradition in our countryand not only because of Comenius but mainly because of Cimrman whowanted to improve Comenius's method to the ultimate perfectness.No wonder, the ban of his poem about quantum physics touched him."If I only were the Minister of Education!""Oh, the Czech schools," he goes on, "poor teachers, damaged classrooms,lack of colour maps, not to mention books."A few days later he writes about his vision of modern didactical aids:
"Textbooks and teaching aids must beVIVID in the first place. Nothing should be concealed.
A modernteaching aid should REVEAL even the most hidden DETAILS."
Obr 2. Johan Amos Comenius - The Teacher of Peoples - founded the bases of a modern didactics Cimrman wanted to applyduring his entire teacher's career. Do we still follow them?
The whole old theory about boys being technicaly minded is a big nonsense.
When I stood in front of one basic school in Prague and started tooffer this above mentioned educational literature for free, itwas mainly girls who reached for 'Machines around us' whileboys uniformly demonstrated an interest about biology.After having returned from the police station I summarized the obtained data:Boys: Girls:biology, anatomy 96% 3%computer science 1% 23%physics, maths, chemistry 0% 14%geology, geography 2.5% 17%mechanics, technics 0.5% 46%
The given numbers show clearly a strong inclination of girlstowards technical sciences, while boys rather prefere nature.Boys are not interested in technical fields at all.
However, professional distribution of men and women is exactlythe other way around, probably due to social traditions. There are only a few woman-astronauts andwe do not have many women tram drivers either. If only the above mentioned facts reached the wide public, wemay soon find many women in professions like: repairwoman,mechanic, inventor, taxi driver, bricklayer, stoker, sea captain,submarine captain or nuclear power-plant dispatcher.
If it really happens, and I wish it wholeheartedly, the worldaround us will be undoubtedly brighter and more interesting.In such a world we would not be sure about tomorrow,not even about the next few hours.I wish Master - Jara da Cimrman - would still be here to enjoy it.
iVosH LUkAcoViC - XLUKACOV@HWLAB.FELK.CVUT.CZ
Translation: Jan Kybic - xkybic@earn.cvut.cz
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In Spring 1902 Cimrman on his way through Russia, found itself aboarda steamer called Katarina which should transport him by the river Moscow to the capital of Russia. Being not very strong financially, Cimrman had to buy a third classticket. Accompanied by workers and wood-cutters, Master startedwork an a Distionary of Russian Argot and Derogatives.The surrounding flat landscape did not offer any interesting viewand so every passanger amused himself as well as they could. A favourite past-time was a game nardy. The aim of this game was to move all the ten pieces to the opposite side of the boardbefore the opponent does it. They also played dice - he who rollsthe highest number of spots wins.However, the most often played game was so called vodka.No wonder, really. The rules are simple and allow an arbitrarynumber of players. Cimrman, who quickly became aquainted with hisfellow travellers, soon found he could play this game succesfully,despite of his small language deficite.He liked the game so much he introduced it on his way home in Ukraine,Slovakia, Moravia and Bohemia. The Ukrainians as well as Slovaks,soon developped their own modifications: cherry brandy, plum brandy,apple brandy and so on.
The rest is still to be translated
iVosH LUkAcoViC - XLUKACOV@HWLAB.FELK.CVUT.CZ
Translation: Jan Kybic - kybic@earn.cvut.cz